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Filipino American Expat in Singapore

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A large splash of water hit our faces. It was followed by another stronger splash. My bag was drenched but I didn’t care much. If I was going to get wet, it was perfectly fine. My phone was inside a waterproof bag anyway.

The boat ride to Malpacuya Island was a bit rough. We were a medium-sized outrigger boat going up against the current. It was a great moment as long as I could keep my anxiety down. Think open sea. What could go wrong. Where are the damn lifejackets. We made it to Malpacuya and the waves hitting the beach were gorgeous.

2015 was a great year for the most part. It was a sporty year. I learned how to paddle on a dragon boat. I did cross-training by running and lifting. Imagine feeling insecure about yourself and then finding a sport that improves how you feel about your body.

But the year also had its several ups and downs. (more…)

Television has managed to fuck us.

I can’t find a better way to explain it. We waited 42 years to experience a moment like this. You know, when the camera zooms in on Miss Philippines as she is crowned the winner of a pageant that is so embedded in Filipino pop culture.

The original selling point of Miss Universe, in my opinion, are traditions and production values. Parading around in a swimsuit may seem outdated (there are male beauty pageants, don’t forget)… but compared with the other shitty content out there… strutting your body on television is okay especially if you worked hard for it.

The idea of a honest mistake such as announcing the wrong winner at that pivotal moment can be a traumatic experience. People see it happen to the ladies on-screen: Miss Colombia, Miss Philippines. But how about the viewers who have invested time and latched emotions onto this pageant. (more…)

Click here for Part 1 and Part 2.

It felt great that the scary part was done. By the next morning, I wasn’t really afraid of encountering a leech. No thunderstorm. Great weather.

I stepped outside of the tent to help make sandwiches. I also evaluated the camp site. It was a flat area underneath a tall tree. I could see the nearby stream. There were hikers walking up and down the nearby trail. Two of them came to visit us and say hello. After a short while, the two hikers didn’t leave yet. DID THEY WANT OUR FOOD? OUR BREAKFAST? (more…)

Our company’s dinner and dance was held at the Royal Palm events venue at Singapore Flyer. The theme was “Golden Jubilee”. I really didn’t have anything “gold” to wear. I thought wildly. Why not go as Gold Spider-man (IT DOES NOT EXIST GEORGE, HELLO PWEDE BA.)? Or as C3PO? My research brought me to Aladdin, Egyptian princes and mysterious caped characters. My budget brought me to Bugis.

I ended up buying a shirt and a hat with “gold printing” on it. Thanks to the labyrinth that is Bugis Street.

The company DND had a lip-sync contest. Colleagues from marketing and ad sales did the Backstreet Boys. Lovely characterisation. Overall the DND was okay. I didn’t win at the raffle this year! Boo. (more…)

I found an old SD Card tucked away in a camera bag.

Accessing the photos on the SD card was like opening a time capsule. It contained photos of our move from Manila to Singapore back in 2012. I get sentimental when I remember how it all began. The little red dot felt so big back then. So many places to explore. So much free time while waiting for a job interview. So little cash! Mixed veggie rice for lunch. Old Chang Kee fried chicken for dinner. I could go on and on… 😛

It’s rather humbling. In 2012, life was much more simple. I was walking around town with dreams in my pocket.

(more…)

One of our greatest fears manifested itself last week. It’s the fear of any overseas Filipino worker. Receiving “the call from home” at an extraordinary time. Receiving an unplanned, unscheduled call.

That kind of call.

The call that can shatter you in an instant.

***

I’m not my boyfriend and I cannot imagine the pain and grief he is going through right now. He has lost his mom. The center of his universe. The light of his day. The queen that he lovingly dedicates all his achievements to.

The relationship he’s had with her all these years has been most beautiful. I can’t string together words to describe the authenticity and passion of such a mother-and-son relationship. One reason I fell in love with him was because of how he treats his mom.

It breaks me to see him in pain. But I will be with him every possible step of the way. I promise to be with him and to take care of him.

Thank you for all your prayers and support.

I love you, mommy Julita.

Independence is a virtue I want to learn how to develop.

Growing up, I needed someone to commute with me on a bus home. I needed companions to watch movies at the cinema with. I needed the company of friends. I enjoyed these things and I felt safe.

But as you grow older, you come to terms with yourself. With added resolve you can tell what you like from what you don’t like. In some cases, the things you like the most are not really exciting to the “company of friends” you have. At first you could feel bad about it. As if only the “company of friends” can validate what makes you happy.

But it doesn’t work that way. Learning to be independent and to embrace your own tastes in life, that takes some courage. It’s okay to walk alone. It’s perfectly fine to watch a movie by yourself. You don’t need to surround yourself with people to help validate who you are and what you love to do. (more…)