When my running shoes hit the pavement, it feels great. I couldn’t run as fast a few years back. I would easily get tired. I like how I’ve found my stride. There’s a pace I’ve started to become comfortable with. I think using the treadmill at gym really helps. I owe it to consistency. Every visit to the gym starts with at least ten minutes on the treadmill.

Eight of the ten minutes would be on high speed. I won’t stop until I hit ten minutes on the timer. I am sweating profusely. But I smile because I finished my warm-up routine, again.

The same thing goes for when I am able to up the weights to the next level. This is true for the machine chest press, inclined press, shoulder press, and the free weights. I used to do 14kg on the individual dumbbells for the bench press. I’m hitting 16kg and I think I’m ready to hit 18kg.

I still feel a little insecure when I enter the gym. Even if the gym is almost empty at 2:12 PM. But I head straight to the lockers at the back. I change into my gym attire and fix my hair a bit.

Sometimes I wish I kept to a routine in my early 20s. Maybe if I had stuck to a fitness routine I would have a different body today. I feel like I’m always chasing time. I worry that I have wasted time by not investing in fitness at an earlier age.

No matter the little improvements or quiet little victories, translating that to performance on a sports team is different.

 

You’re in a team filled with able-bodied men and women. The spirit of competition running deep in the veins of your fellow teammates. It’s both inspiring and intimidating. You try to find your place to be at equal or better footing. Or, you sink to the back because of self-doubt and anxiety.

 What if I am not good enough?

 What if I fail?

 What if I believe I’m good enough, but no one sees it?

 What if I am imagining my strength?

All of these voices seem to speak inside your head. A teammate’s prayer before a heat helps calm the voices. You perform and you believe you deliver. But it’s not enough for now.

I think sage advice would say “take it easy on yourself” or “you’ll do even better next time”.

 I will definitely do better next time.

 Where motivation fails, discipline must take its place.