The past few days have been tough.

I wouldn’t know how to start. I’ll probably do it Dunkirk style where you are thrown right in the middle of it.

***

Career

My career has been a personal cornerstone for the past ten years. I’ve recently started asking myself questions about where my future in television is. I’ve loved my job and I’ve dealt with challenges having to work in a much quieter environment compared to the bustles of Philippine free-to-air. I believe I’ve done a good job.

But now the demands are to be great and not just good.

I’ve no doubt in my creative soul. I have loved creating content since I was in elementary school. Writing fan fiction in my notebooks. Documenting events. Seeing shapes and stories where people see sandboxes.

But at 32 years old I’m start to ask questions like… am I meant for the big corporate world? Is my creativity fit for this? Without flinching an eye I am excited about all the products we have to offer. No doubt about that. But do I want more? Where can I get better? And who or where can I get better direction that fits with my creative style?

I don’t think these questions could be answered overnight. But they are questions I am asking myself. I know I am damn good if I could escape the clutches of the rat race. Especially when I am in the right environment to create the most wonderful of things.

***

Sports

I’m still making up for the two decades where sports and athleticism was not in my blood. I love paddling and running. I can see that my interest for this is beyond what geographical location I’m at. Throw me to Hong Kong or San Francisco and I will still be looking for a dragon boat club to join. I will be looking for a gym. I’ll be lifting and running.

I think I look and feel better now at 32 than I was five years ago. I can only hope to continue on this path for the purpose of good health and looking good in a speedo.

***

Love

I am 32 and I am single. I was in a long term relationship when I was 23 years old to 30 years old. Looking at it that way, I shouldn’t be in a hurry to enter a relationship again.

I’ve dated a handful in the past few months and I’ve met interesting people. But the more interesting ones seem to be from faraway places like Manila or… drum roll please… San Jose, California. Akalain mo? The last time I imagined living in the States, Britney Spears was still dancing in a high school uniform.

I don’t think it would be wise to use your heart as an excuse to move to another part of the world. But the thought is beautiful. There is life outside Singapore if that day comes.

***

How did I spend my 32nd birthday?

This year my birthday was on a Thursday. I didn’t file leave so I went to work. I was depressed by an issue that came to me two days before my birthday. But I was lifted up by the greetings of friends. And even hugs from the sweetest of colleagues. Truly touched.

I had a “Seafood in a Bag” dinner with my closest friends at The Boiler in Tai Seng. I co-celebrated with Arleen who also ordered a bag. There were lobsters. Thank you Arleen, Karla, Emman, and Dons.

On the day after my birthday, my college friends who work in Singapore surprised me with a birthday cake. They were the sweetest. Thank you JC, Cass, Joanna, Paul, and Marco.

My birthday weekend was spent in Hong Kong. I needed some time off to escape Singapore for a weekend. It was a short trip. Thank you Emman for sharing with me an irresistible deal via your company excursion.

Thanks everyone for the greetings.