PJG is Peter John & George.
PJ and friends moved to their new flat in Tampines West this February. They had a housewarming and a joint birthday celebration for housemate Del and PJ.
We managed to get two projects out the door this past week. It was the good kind of stressful. Stressful because I didn’t possess all the knowledge behind processes, links, and content. But I am hungry for learning more.
Earlier I had an emotional relapse… honestly don’t know what’s a word to describe it. PJ was talking to me about an Instagram story he saw of a friend of mine. And that this IG story may have featured someone I have tried to delete from existence. For some reason it got me triggered. I started thinking about how I have left my dragon boat team. I started thinking about how my friendships with people have been affected. It started a chain reaction that made me want to just scream.
PJ ended up cooking pork adobo for me past midnight.
We saw Star Trek: Discovery S2E02. PJ falls asleep halfway through it. I wash the dishes and take out the trash at 3:30 in the morning. And I’m writing this blog entry to kick-off a month-long content creation run.
- At least 1 blog entry per day
- Two articles owed on the platform I work for
- Two vlog entries owed on Bekpackr
- Ramping up content for a project I have with PJ
I’m a hurricane.
And it’s unusual. Because normally when you exit the building you’d go from crisp cool air to tropical humidity. But this evening it’s windy. You sort of wish that it were this windy or cool as permanent as a corrupt Philippine official. It adds to the mood. Like Christmas without the trees and the lights. A cool breeze that wraps around your body gently. Maybe even giving you some chills as the sweat from your jog runs down your back.
You’re by the bay and it feels like you’re one small pixel in a simulation. Everything looks perfect. The grey-blue of the sky before it turns dark. The different groups of runners that flock around the waterfront. The way the lights are uniformed across several floors of different buildings all around. They are towers of glass and in colors of blue and darker blue.
It feels perfect. But is it, really?
You’re standing or sitting. You’re staring. You have a couple dollar bills of a foreign currency in your wallet. Pieces of plastic and square-shaped business cards. You’re easily identifiable. You walk with the confidence you can afford all the basic things and then some. But you’re also uncertain and highly cautious.
Even with an abundance of positive fortune you worry that it will never be enough.
I’m not sure if I am lost for words right now. But I will give it a shot.
The past few months has been quite a rollercoaster. I left my job as a producer to pursue something new. I started putting myself out there again… eventually meeting PJ which is probably one of the most beautiful and surprising things recently. I moved houses. I’ve taken some “free” classes on digital marketing and TV writing… with an idea to take paid classes in marketing, content creation, and arts once employed again. I’m thinking if I’m going to continue dragon boating… or start pursuing other frustrations like dance or weightlifting.
I’ve learned to let go of old friendships (some of which aren’t really friendships at all, more acquaintances). At 33, I really don’t need to collect friends. I can collect contacts for my career development or for pursuing passions like videography, film, photography.
I’m after quality interactions now. Or rekindling friendships. Reconnecting with people that matter. Cutting the excess out. Throwing out half of my things and keeping only the valuable stuff.
This really is a time for transition. I’m starting to care less and less of what people think. I’d like to live things on my own terms now. I’m not afraid to experiment. I like this feeling of taking the leap. It’s a luxury I know I have (I’m aware not everyone has this freedom to move, freedom to pursue their dreams like a 6th grader writing about wanting to be an astronaut).
How is my job search?
Until an employment pass is secured, the search continues. I have been searching for the past three months. I’ve had several conversations. Some say I’m overqualified for a role. Others think I’m missing a few pieces. One start-up would be exciting to work for… and yet they don’t have a quota for me (at least not yet).
Am I content that I tried my best to secure a job?
I think I did good. I didn’t go down the desperate path because it would go against why I left in the first place. I’m not desperate for a job, I’m desperate for the right role where I’ll grow and learn something new.
I want to produce content that inspires. Or content where I’m learning new tricks. These could be working or writing for clients. Working in a boutique video production house.
The excitement is in the content marketing space. I really hope I can lock something in that area. I plan to take classes. I want to network and learn from industry leaders.
I need to write more.